i tend the old : prayer

:: i tend the old ::

tonight, i speak to you, well ones: grand-queers, grand-mothers, grand-fathers. tonight, i remember you and honor the old ways of pausing to rest my soul in the stillness of this darkest night.

for i will be, the first in perhaps hundreds of years of my people, the one who will remember these ways and respect them. i know it is an act of resistance and survival to reach farther back than christianity, to reach back to the Goddess themselves, in full femme and non-binary glory, and remember. call out these ancient and forgotten spells and find them in my body.

ancestors, the world is revealing its darkest night. global systems dominated by capitalist, racist, colonial heteropatriarchy are threatening many, many lives and the wounds of injustice are left open, bleeding. out of this darkness, is borne deep resilience, is borne unfathomable love, kindness, accountability and creativity. it is so much to hold, to hear, to feel. i call on you, now, to support me in finding the gentle, golden peace in my heart and in keeping my hands engaged in revolution. for i know you remember the beginnings when indigenous women were burned in europe for knowing how to heal, how to listen, and how to dance with the hills. and how this spread like wild-fire to infect the rest of the world.

help me remember. how to make fire with my palms and the trees that surround me, how to position an arrow so it finds its mark, how to ask instead of assume, how to move my pelvis in sacred/sensual/essential ways, how to hold steady vision and bring it down to the ground, how to speak in tongues that subvert and heal, how to grieve, how to care, how to forgive.

tonight, i tend to the ancestral waters of my kidneys. re-charging these organs for the months of Sun's return. stroking my own skin and reflecting on where I have been these past few months, what it really means to love myself in looking back. walking towards some things, and walking away from some others. deep gratitude: for all the things that grace my path and call me forward ever more into the flame of a fire-bird who whispers a haunting and familiar tune...

thank you... 

i love you. i honor you. i remember you.

w/ deep breath & the love of a thousand oceans,

f//g

|| And So it Is || Winter Solstice || Happy Yule || Blessed Be ||