Chaos & The Paradox of Decision Making

We LIVE in a reality, defined by culture, defined by perspective, that does not know how to make correct decisions, decisions that are made from a place of inner clarity and truth. Inner knowing. A decision that is aligned with my needs, not necessarily passing desires, but the ability and impulse of my body in that exact moment. 

We give away our decision making power. We give it away to God, to the President, to the police, the doctor, the teacher, the healer, to the Authority who we have defined as outside ourselves somehow. A sacrifice of self-knowledge. 

There is no such thing as a compass outside of ourselves, a device that tells us where to go, what to do, whether to say goodbye, hello, yes, no, possibly, not now, i love you. This device is placed deep inside us. It is the texture of our emotional waves, the body dance of our psyche, the movement of our limbs when we stop trying. It takes a surrender to hear this voice. The voice that Gandhi called the `still, small voice`. So small, but it has so many big things to say. Or sometimes some very simple big things… like no that is not something I want to eat right now. yes I would like to be sexually intimate with that person but not that person. Our lives are painted with the patterns of decision making. It plays a central role, lingers as a pervasive background color. 

And can you imagine… growing up in a setting where no one knows how to make decisions as themselves, within themselves anymore? Looking outside, we are missing the secret inside. The magic key that unlocks the flow of ease and being. The medicine found in trusting oneself and listening to the inner communications of the body… A syncing up with the great flow and ebb of Life. 

Chaos. 

We live in a world of chaos. Ungrounded, spinning, splashing in the realms and patterns of chaos. Lost in chaos. Scared in chaos. Who am I? Who am I ? Who      Am     I ? As the body parts lash about. 

Oh…. Oh….. 

Chaos is incredibly pure, trance like body knowledge, but it can also be a weapon, a confused and destructive haze that sends everything into barely distinguishable flames. 

We do not know how to connect with ourselves, and so we are stuck in chaos and we cannot find our feet. 

We sacrifice ourselves. Every day we crucify our ears and blind ourselves to the pains, traumas, and beauties of our own form, our multidimensional essence. Why? Because this is what we have been taught? Because this is an evolutionary edge, an initiation of sorts of human consciousness? 

We exist in a very special time. A time of incredible leaping and quaking and opening and feeling. We are cracking open, as a species, we are awakening to what our bodies, the keepers of evolutionary wisdoms, are whispering to us. We are laughing more. Playing more. Seeing more. Loving more. Trusting more. Screaming more. Daring more. Sobbing more. Praying more. 

We are noticing more.
And we are taking action more. 

Inside and outside. 

We are risking everything on the answers from the insides. Even when it gets cloudy and it doesn`t seem right and it can possibly cause a reaction in someone else, everything. Is on the line so that we can keep following the line drawn out by our moment to moment embodied experience. 

Come. Come on this journey, if you dare. Into the darkness, the wildness of your own body. Your own psyche, the mysteries of the unknowing force. Align yourself with the Earth and start listening. Start listening to the small, still voice inside. And follow through with what it says. Because ultimately… the precious power of co weaving the future lies between our moment to moment fingertips. It lies in the life and death of our decision making. 

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This post is inspired by the teachings of Human Design and the 5Rhythms body of work. Thank you to the founders Ra Uru Hu and Gabrielle Roth for their incredible gifts of healing to this world. Thank you to Melissa Michaels who has been an inspiration and mentor of the rhythms and their magic for me. 

If you are interested in any of these bodies of work, feel free to contact me. You can read more about Human Design and how it relates to decision making here: 

http://www.jovianarchive.com/h/How_to_Make_Correct_Decisions_Using_Your_Human_Design_by_Andrea_Abay_Abay