~ Moving from the Head to the Heart ~

"Ryōkan never preached to or reprimanded anyone. Once his brother asked Ryokan to visit his house and speak to his delinquent son. Ryokan came but did not say a word of admonition to the boy. He stayed overnight and prepared to leave the next morning. As the wayward nephew was lacing Ryokan's straw sandals, he felt a warm drop of water. Glancing up, he saw Ryokan looking down at him, his eyes full of tears. Ryokan then returned home, and the nephew changed for the better." ~  Zen 

From Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart edited by Christina Feldman & Jack Cornfield 

I deeply resonate with the sweet, simple yet profound wisdom of the Zen story involving Ryōkan and his brother’s delinquent son. I feel that the core teaching of this story revolves around the potential to be a powerful, healing force in this universe when one is grounded so deliberately in love. I feel that this teaching speaks to the power of the language of the heart and its ability to heal, change, transform, and connect. I see this teaching as particularly relevant to the healing of our society because we are shifting from a reality where many people practice preaching and reprimanding to a reality where more are staring to practice deeper looking and listening and true compassion. I see this shift as an energetic moving from the head to the heart. 

This story strikes a deep chord with me personally as I have been a preacher, especially to those closest to me. I have preached about the merits of choosing a spiritual path. I have preached about the destruction of our Mother Earth. I have preached about love, and I have preached about compassion. I have judged others for not making the same choices I was making with my life. I have looked down upon them for not taking care of their bodies, for not composting, for being stuck in fear-based thought patterns. I so desperately wanted to change them, therefore, I caused a lot of suffering for myself and for my loved ones. I did not accept them for who they are. I did not love them in the here and now. I was not living from a space of heart, of love. 

At some point along my path, this insight became very clear to me, and I chose to begin to recognize and let go of my desire to change others, to fix others, to heal others. I started focusing on healing myself, and this is where I find myself now. I practice looking for the divine light in other beings and seeing them through the lens of my heart. I practice seeing each person I meet as a hero on a hero's journey. I practice treating others with respect and dignity regardless of how I am being treated. I practice listening.

 I do my best to hold others in the energy of support and acceptance instead of flinging my words at them, not really being present to their experience at all, judging, and being critical. This effort has radically transformed my relationships, especially my relationships with loved ones. Being more present to the love that is always there, I am able to create strong, deep, and meaningful connection with family and friends. Miraculously, as I transform myself and embody this heart transformation, others meet me in this sacred space of love and undergo their own path of transformation. I do not need to say anything to them about how it would be best if they changed this or that aspect of their life; this mental chatter does not serve either of us. What does serve us is love, so if I choose to say anything it is magic straight from my heart: “I love you. I accept you. I honor you. I respect you. Thank you for being you and sharing you with me.” 

An ocean of Love, 

Grace