moon shadow | tuning fork

New Moon: Dec 28th. 

I knew the circle would continue 

What spills out of me 

will be gold for another time 

I hide the shrine of my silence 

and beckon the gold to come flowing through 

Still I feel a tremor inside

A fear that perhaps this kind of space 

is not welcoming of me 

That perhaps I will do something wrong and get eaten 

Perhaps my nervous system is activated 

and memories of monkey times comb through

And sometimes I wonder and sit and feel my hip bones relaxing and the weight of sinking into the moist mother earth, the shadows of the deers dancing, and my breath exhaling out 

Out I cast you, she shrieks. Into the world. 

Out and in. 

Are the movements of your inner limbs. 

Out and in. 

Out and in. 

Forever destined 

to flow 

out and in. 

Something I cannot taste with my new tongue lingers 

Should I have? 

Could I have if I had? 

My eyelids are heavy with remembrance and wonder 

My body is no longer the site of a ritual 

but something externalized 

How can I come to understand myself 

and my purpose in this world 

Will dreams flow out of my palms ? like songs ? like how I saw ? 

healing words spilling out of her mouth 

I am the aliveness that excites me in other people 

I am the mirror 

and this world is an alone place 

We can walk far down enough the path and finally come to a place of aloneness 

where only ourselves 

are the only one only woe is me only only only only me, here. only me. me. here. 

A modern day memory. 

With rapture written on her wrist.